stuff!

Hey, some stuff's been going on!

Check out my Threadless submission HERE!

Check out my thoughts on the completely awesome Weird Al concert tomorrow! Probably!

My website has been updated, kind of! The news page!

paging teddy kaufman, please dial zero

I'm in Las Vegas. It's a different part of the airport than I usually fly into; which is nice, for a change. I've had dinner, after waiting FOREVER for the girl at the front of the line to (a) decide what she wanted and (b) find her ID, and am now sitting behind a column at the crossroads of Burger King, Sbarro, and Carvel. I can see my gate from where I'm sitting (I scored a totally excellent "A" grouping for my boarding pass), my plane is supposed to be on time, and I'm listening to "Store" by the Mountain Goats (thanks, Mary!).

It's actually going pretty well.

In another two hours, give or take, I'll be in Tucson. We will have to hang out, though I doubt we will tonight. But at some point before I go back up north. I don't have much to say right now, and it probably woudn't be a bad idea to go to my gate, at which the plane boards in about ...20 minutes. People seem to line up quickly.

See you soon!

WARNING: this blog may contain spoilers. but i have not written it yet, so i don't really know.

I know it's been quite a while since I updated the ol' blog, so I've thought of some stuff to write, handily, in a little list format:

-The New Harry Potter Book: As good as you hoped it would be? Or not?
-Oh Man, Do I Hate Perspective: Why Brian the Zombie will now be set in a windowless room.
-Flying to Tucson: I am looking forward to it.

HERE BE SPOILERS (MAYBE? I'LL TRY NOT TO BE TOO SPECIFIC, BUT I PROBABLY WOULD BE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION IF SOMEONE WAS TO COMMENT)!
I liked the last book, overall. I did have a few qualms with it, mostly with the Hallows part (which really should have been longer or at least more developed) and with how many characters she killed/the need(?) and time given to their deaths. When Sirius died in Order of the Phoenixxx, it made me really sad to say the least; because here was a character that I had grown to know and when he died I felt the emotional impact on Harry. I cried when Dumbledore died, too. But for the most part, when she was busy killing the characters that she did, I didn't feel too bad about it. (Except when a certain tennis-ball-eyed fellow was killed in one of the most cliched ways in all of books and movies. [See: The Matrix Revolutions or any other thing where you think someone is okay until PSYCH! they're dead.]) I completely missed that a certain Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and his wife died until Harry's March to Certain Doom. I thought that killing Hedwig was just so she didn't have to worry about what to do with her. And the ears-free-of-being-shorn-twin was more or less pointless. But the lamest thing was that we barely have time to register what has happened to these characters before she's on to her next thing. I'd bet that her publisher was breathing down her neck to finish it and these problems would have been addressed had she been given time to go back and fix them. I was disappointed by Snape's death, how anti-climatic.
I know it sounds like I didn't really like it, but I did. It was as good a way to end the series as I could have asked for and she answered all of the questions I had.
END SPOILERS!

I hate perspective, and that's pretty much all I have to say about it. You'll see what I mean tomorrow.

I'm also looking forward to flying down to Tucson, and I hope I won't be too delayed. We'll have to hang out at some point, it's been forever.

i hope your workplace still has air conditioning because mine sure doesn't

Hey, guess what. That's right. My website is more or less up and running. I've still got a couple of links to fix, but it's usable.

Let me know what you think or if you have any problems.

this is the sort of day i had at work:

A little set up: this guy came in to give us ten thousand books. I told him, calmly, mind you, that we don't do that and if he wants to do that, there's a Goodwill drop off behind the grocery store.

Angry Customer: I thought I'd do you a favor!

Me: Well, you can do Goodwill a favor.

Wow, yeah, so that was fun.

and the (hopefully) conclusion

Apparently Kevin, Troy, and Travis Wilkinson are involved in a legal dispute with Ford Motor Co. and so Ford garnished what they probably thought was the above's bank account on Friday. But, as the previous post made clear was that it was my bank account.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that I have my money back and the attorneys in the Wilkinson v. Ford case are being contacted.

the good news first and then horrible awful very bad news: or stupid ford motor company, those bastards

Good news first. I bought my tickets for this summer, and will be down in Tucson from August 8th to the 21st. I suggest we hang out at least a couple of times? Also, I did indeed start a Marion/John Wayne in an airport story. It'll probably be not gloomy at the very least, but I'm shooting for funny and happy. So there's that.

Bad news now. After I bought my tickets yesterday, I checked my bank accounts to see what sort of damage they dealt and to my great surprise I saw: Nothing. Well, not exactly "nothing." I did see "-235.60" which is, I suppose, an absence of nothing. But nothing in my savings and the above in my checking.
Which was, clearly, EXACTLY what I was expecting.
Two calls to Wells Fargo later and I've got to contact the Wells Fargo Legal Department on Monday. Because all of my money has gone to Ford Motor Company. Ford. Motor. Company. I don't know how. I certainly don't know why. Maybe they're vindictive that I drive a Camry? Apparently, and I'm not positive that this is what the lady said due to my head spinning, Ford has a hold on my money in a litigation or something or other (which is why I have to contact the legal department).

So I had a very fun day yesterday and I have to open the store in 20 minutes, so today is really looking up.

I'll keep you posted.

i am most certainly NOT blogging from work, thank you very much

This is why the Mountain Goats are awesome times ten.

finally flickr fupdate!

My flickr is finally updated. I'd have put the pictures in a set, but flickr won't let me. I let my pro account die, so if you can't see the pictures because my bandwith is used, I'll renew it.

It's how I roll. Enjoy!

what strange machines we are/ what strange machines we are (3x)

Since it's been so long since I've updated the ol' blog, I figured that, hey, since I have a couple of hours to kill, I'd let all two (or three?) of you know why:
1. Pretty much nothing has been going on. Things at the store are actually not too bad, financially; we were very worried how the construction out front would impact business and it doesn't seem to have too much. We've even had some really good days, and if those keep up enough to get someone to buy the store in the next six months, I'll still have a job.
2. I've been working on this year's Elsie Hooper Art Contest. It's been fairly slow going because I'm working on a larger scale than I usually do (instead of the middle of an 8" x 10", I'm using the whole of an 11" x 16"), and it's turning out fairly well, but I still need to find a larger scanner than I usually use when I'm done. Also, the other entrants won't be able to possibly cheat this year because he has actual judges for the finalists. Which is good.
3. I'm working on another story off and on. This one takes place in an airport, which, aside from being something I've wanted to do for a while*, has a very low likelihood that there will be interspecies erotica.

That's more or less it. Flickr update tonight or tomorrow morning, depending on my speed in getting the yet-to-be-taken pictures uploaded.

I'm pretty sure that I called some previous entry the Most Boring Entry Ever. I'm also pretty sure this one beats it.

*Many of my story ideas have involved airports in one way or another. The Spokane Story originally began in an airport, years after the events of the story's current incarnation, and the characters were drastically different. But I've always (usually) enjoyed airports and would like to write several that take place in them. Just because.

in which i use numbers

So. Classes. Ahem.

1. Eastern Religion and Philosophy is taught by a guy who looks a tad like Steven Spielberg, but with considerably more bow-ties-per-shirt. He seems to know what he's talking about, although it's a bit difficult to tell over the roar of his mumbling. However, I do have that class with Biz and Alexis and so the chances of making through the class are high.
2. Brit Lit 2: The Sequel is taught by a woman whose previous job was being Velma Dinkley and teaching kindergarten. I loathe the class with almost, but not quite, every fiber of my being. Alexis is in that class with me, too, but because it's still illegal to throw up your hands and then leave some sort of backhand smack as a parting gift, I may not survive.
3. Stress and Coping is taught by Andy Richter. A taller and thinner version of him, but still. I have no friends in that class, but the teacher seems fine. As far as psych teachers go.

The chances that I will turn to drink: Slim.

You know what I hate more than customers? Regular customers. With their giant boxes of books. And their relentless demands and questions and complaining about prices. You know, this was far more witty when I thought of it yesterday, and it's not really working now, so I'll jump that ship while I can.

The chances that I will punch someone when they drop a giant box of books on the counter: High.

The chances that this post will continue on to the Special Guest Topic: Low, because I didn't end up seeing Grindhouse tonight. Alas.

khaaaaaaaaaaaan

This was going to be a post, keeping with my theme of essential kernels of knowlege, pretty much as an excuse to link to the short video of Jack White recording a song for the new White Stripes album but is now about how Blogger is a bully.
I clicked on the Old Blogger button, but it kept taking me to the Make Google Account section, and when I tried No, Seriously, I Want The Old Blogger option, it took me to the Ha, You Cannot Access Your Account Unless You Sign Up With Google screen. So here I am, with New Blogger. I feel like the big kid at school made me give him my lunch money, but let me think I had choices.

Jerks.
In retaliation, I'm going to keep using Blogger, just to show them.

And here's the link I was talking about.

And the new Bright Eyes video, because I keep listening to the song over and over.

because i don't actually have anything original to say...

...here's that excerpt I talked about before, from World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War; this is told by a guy who made movies to boost the country's morale. Although the film, Avalon: The Battle of the Five Colleges, bombed initially, it was found to lower ADS (Asymptomatic Demise Syndrome, or Apocalyptic Despair Syndrome) and he made several other movies before the war was over. It's a very good book, I really liked it. So here you go:

"Just outside of Greater Los Angeles, in a town called Claremont, are five colleges --Pomona, Pitzer, Scripps, Harvey Mudd, and Claremont Mckenna. At the start of the Great Panic, when everyone else was running, literally, for the hills, three hundred students chose to make a stand. The turned the Women's College at Scripps into something resembling a medieval city. They got their supplies from the other campuses; their weapons were a mix of landscaping tools and ROTC practice rifles. They planted gardens, dug wells, fortified an already existing wall. While the mountains burned behind them, and the surrounding suburbs descended into violence, those three hundred kids held off ten thousand zombies! Ten thousand, over the course of four months, until the Inland Empire could finally be pacified. We were lucky to get there just at the tail end, just in time to see the last of the undead fall, as cheering students and soldiers linked up under the oversized, homemade Old Glory fluttering from the Pomona bell tower."

Sorry, Mary, they didn't have anything about Stanford.

color me EXCEEDINGLY DISAPPOINTED

The Mountain Goats Show (Is All Sold Out)

Am E Am E Am C G C

Since I found out, last October, that you'd be in my state
I counted the days until the show, I couldn't wait
But it was all in vain
That's been made all too plain
I spent fifteen minutes on hold listening to muzak
And though it got old I somehow still stuck with it
Casting my mind back to the morning
When tickets went on sale without warning

I was unprepared, I admit that now
Why should I have known a date and time?
How should I have known you'd get sold out?
If I could have found a payphone maybe I'd sing a different tune
But there're no payphones from here to Singapore
No one carries change for them anymore
I found a booth buried in the snow on the lawn
Little did I know that the phone was gone

A voice came on and I told her tickets were my want
And oh! I found that all my hope was all for naught
From the desperate waiting list I hope to hear
And make note for better planning, for a cell phone, next year
When the throngs sing No Children I won't be among their number
Though I thought I would, I was sure I would, last October

there's a monkey in the basement. how'd the monkey get there? how'd the monkey get there?

Because it's been a while since I've last posted, I figured it'd be just about time to blow my own horn. Although there's really no saying the horn will be blown, because anyone and everyone who wants can enter and everyone and anyone who enters has exactly the same chance of winning.
You're probably thinking: where's the link? Or explaination?

Right here.

So, yeah.
Actual update later? I've got something from a book I want to share, but the book is at work?

NOTE: Mine is (currently) the top left one. And today's entry title is taken from The Monkey Song by The Mountain Goats. Jus' so's you know.

this is going to be short, because it is late. and i am tired.

AT THE BRAINSTORMING MEETING FOR BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE:

Executive One: Have you seen that Underworld movie? We should do something like that.
Executive Two: We produced it, and I totally agree with you. Let's do it.
Executive One: Well, we've done vampires and werewolves. Vampires are always popular.
Executive Two: I like werewolves more.

THEY SLAP AT EACH OTHER FOR A MOMENT.

Executive Two (panting): I win! I win!
Executive One (also panting): N-uh! I win!
Executive Two: We could just use the same plot as Underworld.
Executive One: Brilliant! And how much should we budget for the werewolf transformation effects?
Executive Two: Nothing! We'll save millions by just using trained wolves and colored contacts!

THEY HIGH-FIVE. AND MISS HORRIBLY, SENDING AT LEAST ONE HURTLING THROUGH THE WINDOW. (It doesn't matter which. And what's with that title? It's gawdawful.)

sounds about right...

In an effort to liven things up, here's my current list of ten (actually 12 because I couldn't just choose one Okkervil River to end it with) songs to take to a desert island in no particular order.

The Fall Peter and the Wolf
Tonight Sibylle Baier
Grendel's Mother The Mountain Goats
If You See Light The Mountain Goats
I Wish That I Could See You Soon Herman Dune
Strange Machines Peter and the Wolf
Fake Palindromes Andrew Bird
Whistle of a Distant Train Ed Harcourt
The Vice and Virtue Ministry Happy Bullets
Song of Our So-Called Friends Okkervil River
The Velocity of Saul at the Time of His Conversion Okkervil River
The War Criminal Rises and Speaks Okkervil River

What are yours?

oy

I've got to make up for last night's depressing post. I'll just give you the URL for the unfinished site? Maybe you could tell me if things are all crazy or illegible or oddly phrased so I could fix them? Except for content, it's more or less how it'll be when it's done. The links should work, which is always a plus?

Click Here!

you see that slogan at the top? ignore it this once.

It's late.

I'm watching Seinfeld, and putting off writing a short story that's actually a rewrite of one I did last year and turned in to my professor (I hated turning it in because it was rushed and I hated out it turned out) so that I can show it to him come January in an attempt to get into a graduate fiction workshop he's teaching. This is the mindset I come to you with.
Just so you know.

Seinfeld, or television shows in general, are weird in that I don't notice the age difference too much: making a sort of never-never land. The difference in real life however, is that ten years seems like a tremendous amount of time. Changes that people go through in half that time can be astronomical. I don't want to get older, I really don't.
I'll know different people, I'll live somewhere else. Maybe even this blog will be a distant memory. I looked at my grandparents the other day --while my Grandma was lecturing me on not having an outline for my life, which did NOT help, faithful reader(s)-- and saw myself in their age. My hands knobbled with age, etc.

But I've got no resolution to this. It's inevitable. On a lighter note, I hope to finish my website around the middle of January. I'd give you guy(s) a link, but I just have an Under Construction page at the URL.
And things will look better in the morning, they always do.

at least the title for the new harry potter is cool

I think that I've missed my calling. I should've been in a soap opera or been a basic cable television judge. I can look shocked. Moreso, I can do it very poorly. I can also pull decisions out of a hat, regardless of any sense of the "law."
Why yes, I have been watching a half hour or so of daytime television.